Sample writing from Windows Live

hah! this is just a sample Smile

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A Goal, not an option

At my age, I have come to embrace the fact that I may never be able to live the dream that I once had.

I have struggled to provide for the people I love and have happily seen them fulfill their dreams – pursuing the things they love and getting the things they wanted.

Then recently, I realized that my previous goal was met and that this anxiety and almost hysteria that I feel is a sign that I need another goal in life – to give me direction as one friend pointed out.

What about another goal? Hmmm…

Some people stress that my only option as of the moment is to marry or have a baby. What better timing, they say, so that my father can still see his grandchild while he’s alive.

For me that is not an option, instead it’s a goal. A commitment, to myself and to the person I love. It is not simple, there are a lot of things to consider. I am not saying I won’t give “walking down the aisle” a try but it has to be planned.

Maybe not the type that I should fret or make a big fuss of but a plan that should be met all throughout.

I wanna see myself having a family. This has been in the background for so long that I thought it would never happen after two failed plans. The feeling is there, resurfacing yet again.

However with recent predicaments, I am at a loss at how this plan would play. Many things have been added to my “for serious consideration” list.

I’m hoping against all hopes that things will work out well. That the heavenly being that looks out upon us will guide me. And that the person that loves me like I’ve never felt before, will stay with me through these trying and tough times.

Love may conquer all but it also causes heartbreaks that can take a great toll on even the strongest of us.

Ann Droid: will self-destruct in 5, 4, 3…

I am tired.

Super tired of being unable to really express my true emotions.

I feel like I’m going to burst.

I wanna cry.

Cry out all my frustrations.

Lash out.

Really hit people.

 

I hate feeling like this.

 

Judgements.

Why is there a need to judge people?

Can we not let them be?

Negativity.

Can we at least try to understand first?

Weigh both sides, hear reason.

 

It isn’t too difficult, is it?

 

Happiness.

I finally found a reason to be.

Laughter, excitement and anticipation –

are rekindled emotions, lost a long time ago.

 

Acceptance.

I am humbled and proud,

Open and understanding.

Whole again after my shattered state.

 

I hope it is not too much

to ask for serenity.

For people to be happy

of my odd choices and views in life.

 

I’ve been through tough times

and a lot more.

I commit mistakes, I learn.

I’ve been vulnerable and weak –

used and abused.

Scarred yet alive.

Battle-worn and blue.

 

Now that I’ve finally committed,

and opened up myself again,

I am wishing for forgiveness.

Forgiveness for failing your ideals,

expectations and most of all,

for being human.

 

Please, let me feel like human again.